Tom Cruise Is Troy Mcclure

5 posts


Bart: Why'd they make that one muppet out of leather?
Marge: That's not a leather muppet, that's Troy McClure. Mmm, back in
the '70s he was quite a teen heartthrob.
Homer: Yeah, who'd have thought he'd turn out to be such a weirdo?
Marge: What are you talking about?
Homer: You know, his bizarre personal life. Those weird things they say
he does down at the aquarium. Why I heard...
Marge: Oh, Homer, that's just an urban legend. People don't do that
type of thing with _fish_!

-- He may hold you to that, "A Fish Called Selma"

How Tom Cruise got Katie Holmes pregnant:


Hibbert: Troy McClure? I thought he disappeared after that scandal at
the aquarium.
Louie: Hey, I thought you said Troy McClure was dead.
Tony: No, what I said was: "He sleeps with the fishes". You see...
Louie: Uh, Tony, please, no. I just ate a whole plate of

-- And it doesn't look pretty on the way out, "A Fish Called Selma"

Resolved Question

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I have a VERY serious fish fetish?


I seem to have this HUGE sexual obsession with fish. Every time I masturbate, I have to have a fish in hand or I can't get off, and whenever I'm with my girlfriend, a fish needs to come to the party or it just isn't fun. I mean, my girlfriend is sexy as hell--it just takes a fish for me to blow my load of man juice (fish juice?)

Can anyone help me overcome this so I can have sex normally again?
  • 5 years ago

I remember clear as day when I was a kid and the psychiatrists at the group home showed us his fish. Later that summer we threw rocks at a hornet's nest and while Tom wore his army uniform from the army surplus store Callsign: FISH.