The Pop Fop Guide to Political Constituencies

4 posts

Niccolo and Donkey
source :

1. Uncultured, uncouth rich people (i.e. New Money).
2. Mormon and Born Again closet cases.
3. Poor people who pretend they are rich.
4. Fat guys in cowboy hats.
5. Christers.
6. Hispanics who really hate gays and abortion.
7. Young people without souls.
8. People who were in the military but never saw combat.
9. Bigots.
10. Zionists.
11. White collar criminals.
12. Private school administrators who still believe in caning.
13. Rapists.
14. The guy who owns the company you work for.

1. Anybody who listens to NPR.
2. Upper class white people who are really uncomfortable with the idea of upper class white people.
3. Your college professors.
4. 99% of all black people.
5. Ex or crypto Communists.
6. Welfare lifers.
7. People who accuse others of racism on a weekly basis.
8. White collar criminals.
9. Zionists.
10. Fussy, bourgeois gay people.
11. Rich people who fetishize “The People.”
12. Rapists.
13. That trust fund squatter who just asked you for a dollar.
14. People who are afraid of guns and violent video games and “the coming fascism.”

1. The most boring stoners in the world.
2. Ex Communists who think voting Democrat is selling out.
3. People who listen to jam bands.
4. That cute lesbian you met on the Appalachian Trail.

1. Republicans who openly like drugs and whores.
2. Programmers and other computer nerds.
3. People who get a hard on from a balanced budget.
4. People who talk about “the market” the way Communists used to talk about “the workers.
Niccolo and Donkey

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