Guardian UK
Carole Cadwalladr
March 13, 2011
It is a glorious New York spring day: blue skies, clear air, a fresh breeze. A day to skip along the pavement and feel happy to be alive. Just not in Woody Allen 's world. Where it's a day, like every other day, ie, one in which to sit in a darkened room and ponder the futility of all human existence and the absence of meaning. Allen's own special brand of nihilism, as expounded in his films, is, of course, well known – equal parts despair and a sort of despairing joy – but entering his office makes me wonder if this is more than an intellectual choice; if he simply has a different physiology from the rest of us.
Because outside the birds are singing, the trees are about to burst into bloom, and yet his office, where he's worked for years, seems to be some sort of black hole, exerting a force field so powerful it swallows all light. The lobby, a gloomy marble sarcophagus, gives way to a suite of rooms lit only by dim puddles from low wattage bulbs. He's like one of those deep sea creatures who have simply evolved differently; the human equivalent of the Antarctic icefish, which has no red blood cells, or the vampire squid with a metabolic rate so low it's practically dead.
At the back is a screening room, which is gloomier still, decked out with a mossy green carpet and Draylon chairs that look like they last saw daylight sometime back in 1972 – but, then, it could be any time of day or night, any point in the past 40 years. There's a record player and a collection of jazz albums, and there, suddenly, in the gloaming, is Woody himself, who, give or take a whitening of the hair, and slight hunching of the shoulders, seems equally timeless. Even at 75 he looks pretty much as he's always looked, the spectacles in place, his eyebrows a cartoon question mark.
The reason for the interview is the UK release this week of You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger , the fourth film he's shot in Britain, and probably the best yet (if you can get over the shock of the opening scene in which Bridget Jones's mother is talking to Shirley Valentine. In a Woody Allen movie). In it, Alfie, played by Anthony Hopkins, leaves his wife, Helena, because "she became old and I wasn't prepared to accept it", and takes up with a twentysomething prostitute instead.
They are all here, the familiar subjects of Allen-esque despair. The feeling, as Alvy Singer explains at the beginning of Annie Hall , that life is nasty, brutish and cruel. But also too short. That death dominates life. And that nothing works out, ever. It's not a film a young man could have made. "No. I wouldn't have thought of it when I was young. It requires years of disillusionment, this is true," he says. The only happy characters in the film are the deluded ones, and the more powerfully deluded they are, the happier they seem. Helena, who takes up with a fortune teller and dabbles with the occult, is grinning like a loon by the end of the film.
"But then I've always felt that if the delusion works, it's great. I always think that people who have religious faith are always happier than people who do not. The problem is that it's not something you can adopt. It has to come naturally."
There's a brilliant sequence, which afterwards I think is the possibly the least romantic moment in any film ever, in which Sally, played by Naomi Watts, young, beautiful and trapped in an unhappy marriage, has a moment with her sexy, Spanish boss, Antonio Banderas. He obviously has feelings for her, as she does for him, and if she were a character in any other film, they'd eventually be together. Or maybe apart, but in a doomed, romantic way. Not here, though. It just doesn't happen, and they end up not together in the most banal of ways: the timing's off. She hesitates, and he falls in love with her friend instead. She takes consolation in her career but then that's thwarted too. It's a level of realism, the everyday realism of everyday life, that rarely reaches the screen.
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/embed/OLLbzJC_mp4
In Woody Allen's universe there is no reason why some things happen and others not. His atheism allows no delusions of that kind, but what about age, I ask him? Do you, like Alfie, resist hearing that you're old?
"I do, I resist. I feel the only way you can get through life is distraction. And you can distract yourself in a million different ways, from turning on the television set and seeing who wins the meaningless soccer game, to going to the movies or listening to music. They're tricks that I've done and that many people do. You create problems in your life and it seems to the outside observer that you are self-destructive and it's foolish. But you're creating them because they're not mortal problems. They are problems that can be solved, or they can't be solved, and they're a little painful, perhaps, but they are not going to take your life away."
Problems such as, say, falling in love with Soon-Yi Previn, his partner, Mia Farrow 's adopted daughter, and the sister to his three children – two adopted and one biological. It happened almost two decades ago, the hugest scandal at the time, with Farrow alleging abuse against another daughter, and although Allen and Soon-Yi have married, and have adopted two girls of their own, it still echoes down the years. Soon-Yi, 35 years Allen's junior, has no contact with Mia; Allen has no contact with his older three children. And You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger features that familiar Woody Allen trope: the May to December romance.
In previous interviews Allen has resisted any autobiographical interpretation to this, calling it a useful plot mechanism. Which it is. And here, as previously, in Whatever Works , Husbands and Wives and Manhattan , the relationship is both mined for comic effect – Hopkins counting down the minutes until his Viagra will work – and obviously doomed. Whereas Allen has previously spoken about his "luck" in finding Soon-Yi, and the tranquillity of their domestic life together.
In Wild Man Blues , the documentary Barbara Kopple made about Allen's love of jazz, in which she followed him and his band on tour, there are a few brief but telling insights into his and Soon-Yi's relationship. She's not afraid to call a spade a spade, is she, I say? "The crowd outside the concert was hilarious," she says at one point. "It was like for a rock concert, and yet you're an older guy." And, "you looked like a crazy person out there". And, "you must remember most people aren't coming because they like your music, they're coming because you are in the movies".
Soon-Yi, like Helena in the film, insists upon honesty. There's really no escape from reality when she's around. The difference is that, unlike Alfie, Allen seems to embrace it.
"Yes, yes, she's never taken me seriously really. And to this day – you know I just left her now – she sees me as a complainer, a hypochondriac, a kind of idiot savant. She thinks that I'm very good at what I do and absolutely terrible at everything else. And she's probably not far off. You know, it's that kind of relationship. She's not someone who sycophantically supports. You know, people thought when I first married her that, because of this big age difference, I'd married someone who'd idolise me. But that wasn't the case at all. She hadn't seen 90% of my movies, and to this day she hasn't seen 60% of them. She's just not that interested in them. And she's a stern critic of my work. She unashamedly hates my clarinet playing. Can't bear it. Can't bear my practising. Never comes to a concert. Thinks it's torture.
"In fact, if you were to see me around what you would call, but isn't really, my entourage, that is my wife, my sister, people close to me, loved ones, you'd think, 'The poor guy. They don't like his movies, they're critical of this, they're critical of that.' That's not really so true. They love me and are supportive in a meaningful way but they are very critical of what they would euphemistically call an eccentric. Although they think it's worse than an eccentric, it really is much more like an idiot savant."
Soon-Yi's behaviour reminds me of the story about the Roman emperors, I say, who were said to employ a slave during triumphal processions to whisper in their ear, "You're only mortal."
"Well I'm very aware of that. In fact, I'm hyper aware because of the fact that my wife is so much younger than me."
Do you worry about that?
"I worry about that only in that I hope that I live long enough to give her sufficient nourishment. It's almost a given that she'll outlive me. But I'd like to see the children up and launched."
But then, what comes across in You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is how random it all is. How we meet one person but equally we could have met another person. Josh Brolin plays a writer, Roy, who becomes obsessed with the stranger in the window opposite. Does Allen think this is just the human condition? That we're all captivated by the stranger in the window?
"Yes, because you fill in the gaps. You see the woman in the window and you impute to that person the things you want to hear."
And, with Roy, it just seems completely arbitrary who he ends up with.
"Yes, we pick someone. And if your wife dies you get another wife. And in my movie Whatever Works , Larry David tried to kill himself by jumping out the window and lands on a woman, and that's a theme of mine, I was thinking about the other day… It was a theme of mine from the very first time I was ever associated with a movie, What's New Pussycat? , an abysmal film. Peter O'Toole, I think, was driving, and Ursula Andress parachuted out of a plane and happened to land in his car. And I touched on it again in Match Point : one of the characters at the museum is talking about how she hit him with a car and they wound up getting married. It's just all so capricious.
"Life is so much luck. And people are so frightened to admit that. They want to think that they control their life. They think 'I make my luck'. And you want to keep telling yourself that you're in control, but you're not in control. Ninety-nine per cent of it is luck, the luck of the genes, the luck of the draw, what happens during the day, the bomb that goes off on the other guy's bus."
His success has been luck, he says, although he's happy to take his failures as his own. He never watches his films – it's why he's so hazy on some of the details – never reads his reviews, finds the idea of his "legacy" abhorrent. And he rarely acknowledges either his tremendous work rate – he writes and directs a film a year – or his prodigious imagination. Or the fact that he's an entirely self-created man. He was born Allen Stewart Konigsberg, a Brooklyn Jew. Woody Allen, the urbane atheist of the upper east side, is very much his own invention.