[meta] Mailbag


The answer is my patience is wearing kind of thin, so now that I’m done with issue #0 I’m taking a little break before jumping into #1.  Meta posts like this one will be kept between issues so I don’t break up the flow.

Actually, the main reason the pace has been so steady is because so many people have started following this blog as soon as my first post went up.  I hadn’t been expecting that–my plan was to just post whenever I felt like it because nobody was going to care.  But knowing people are paying attention is a good incentive.  Thanks, guys!


Primarily, I just wanted there to be an archive of all the Sonichu comic pages.  Chris’s own website became unreliable when it started getting hacked and he began going back and editing his own content.  Sonichu.com currently has backups of his defunct websites, but the pages aren’t very well organized and some of it is kind of difficult to find.  (A week or two ago I was trying to make sure I had the complete Sonichu #9, and it was a lot harder than it should have been.)

I thought the comics needed annotations because they don’t make much sense on their own.  A typical page of Sonichu is hard enough to follow when Chris places word balloons and panels out-of-order, and then on top of that he’s interrupting his plot to rant about people who may or may not have appeared in the story. Sonichu #10 is particularly incoherent, unless you listen to all the videos and phone calls he made while working on it.

One of my favorite comic books is The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen , which I only superficially understand, so I really enjoy the unofficial annotations written by Jess Nevins .  I suppose this is my way of emulating Mr. Nevins, which may be as close as any analogy will come to likening Christian Weston Chandler to Alan Moore.

This is great to hear because it’s one of the reasons I wanted to do this.  The comics are a truly fascinating peek into the mind of a very curious individual, and I think more people should get to experience it.  For years I’ve seen people say they couldn’t get very far into the comic, and for a long time I would lose interest after a few pages myself.  There’s a lot of material to slog through (at least 700 pages!) and it’s hard to sit through it all to get to the interesting stuff.  Hopefully I can show people some of the highlights.


That reminds me, in addition to Sonichu #0-11, I have to look at the unreleased “specials” like Penis Comic .  Uh-oh.


Then this blog is already getting more action than Chris-chan!

That’s all for now–we’ll start up on Sonichu #1 soon.

[meta] Mailbag 2

We’ll be picking up on Sonichu #2 soon, but I’m taking a break between issues to answer some questions and comments.


This blog is facetiously pedantic but it’s also sincere.  For example, I’ve compared Chris’s role in the comic to a Christ figure taking a form that can walk among his creations.  Obviously Chandler didn’t put that much thought into it and I’m just  overanalyzing a stupid comic.  But that is my real (over-)analysis.


Looking back at that page, I notice that when Chris draws a hedgehog character it’s hard to tell where the back ends and the ass begins.  So I checked the nude scenes in Sonichu #8 (where the characters suddenly have buttcracks and are much taller) and–son of a gun!–the tails are shooting out of the middle of the spine, not the end.  So you may be on to something here, although I think “which would make anatomical sense” and “Christian Chandler” don’t go together in the first place.



I was going to laugh at these guys for thinking too hard about this stuff, but then I remembered I write a blog called “The Annotated Sonichu” so I don’t have much room to judge.

To me it’s like saying an army guy’s attack is shooting a pistol but his special attack is firing a rocket-propelled grenade.  Well, if he’s got an RPG launcher I don’t see why it matters how many bullets his pistol will hold, or why one is more or less special than the other.  Sonichu and Black Sonichu have super-speed and can shock you in the balls; given all that I don’t think it matters how good they are at punching and kicking, so we don’t need two separate stats.  (Granted, they did spend a lot of that fight punching and kicking for some reason.)


Bête noire literally means “black beast” in French , but now I’m just quibbling.  In English it’s used to mean “someone or something particularly disliked” whereas I’d been using it in the sense of “evil counterpart.”  Close enough.


I never gave it much thought, but I suppose there are Europeans who regard Chris as the Ugly American, atheists who see him as the stereotypical religious nut, metropolitans who think he’s the ultimate slack-jawed yokel, etc.

However, I never got the sense that his socioeconomic class has very much to do with the fascination he elicits from people.  Coverage of him on morning talk radio probably best captures the typical initial reaction to Chris, and that reaction is usually that he’s a middle-aged creep in a room full of toys.  It’s only upon much deeper analysis that anyone notices he resides in rural Virginia, or that he lives in squalor and rarely has more than $100 in his bank account.  I’m not sure most people would notice he’s autistic if he didn’t bring it up all the time.

I think what interests people most about Chris is simply his peculiar behavior, which transcends any class or category you could put him in.  I can’t even compare him with other autistic people, or other otaku, or other angry virgins.  Chris has a peculiar talent for always choosing the most spectacularly wrong decision, and a peculiar desire to seek attention as a “class clown.”  The result is a carwreck that keeps following you so you can’t stop rubbernecking.

That’s all for now,we’ll be back later!

[meta] Mailbag 3

There are a grand number of messages in my inbox so we’ll be going through those for a few days.


It depends on the harassment, really.

If you were to ask Chandler how he is being harassed, I’m sure one of his first answers would be that he’s “internet famous” and that people are chronicling and following everything reported about him online.  This blog could be included in that charge, but I don’t think paying attention to Chris is harassing him.  It’s important to remember that he spend much of the past decade begging for attention and fame so that he could launch a Sonichu media empire; he has since learned that he does not get to choose what he becomes famous for , or how that fame is received by the masses.

The average person who’s read about Chandler would probably say he’s harassed by a legion of trolls constantly trying to trick him into making silly videos and embarrassing statements.  I think these shenanigans are defensible inasmuch as they only bother Chris to the extent that he lets them.  If he didn’t get so obsessed with creative control of Sonichu or finding the perfect girlfriend, his most well-known misadventures could not have happened.  It’s not just that he’s unintelligent or gullible.  Chris’s greatest vulnerability is his insistence upon seeing the world not as it is but as he wants it to be: a place where the next woman he speaks to is his future wife and he can resolve any conflict by getting angry.

I think the worst harassment he receives is the stuff that would bother any other reasonable person–things like constant prank calls and threats of vandalizing his home.  I recently read that his car’s license plates were allegedly stolen, which is over the line.  At that point you’d do just as well to steal my license plates–I’ll get just as pissed and it’ll be exactly as (not) funny.  What makes Chris so entertaining is that he gets more angry when you do less to him–why steal his plates when you can claim his life’s work was plagiarized by an eighty-year-old British soccer player ?  So the harassment has to get to this level before I consider it truly indefensible; however, I concede that Chris bears some responsibility for publicizing his contact information , and giving people reasons to single him out.

If you’re wondering whether harassment of Chandler is legally defensible, I don’t know if I can help because I’m not a lawyer.  As noted, a lot of the harassment is ultimately self-inflicted, and I’m not sure whether a jury would decide he brought it on himself by escalating the conflict or if he had a right to stand his (online) ground.  Recent legislation to quash cyberbullying seems to be based on the latter position, but I feel that concept isn’t going to hold up in the long run.


I definitely agree that people around 20-40 years old look at Chris and say “there but for the grace of God, go I.”  Other demographics probably can’t understand this.  If you’re over 40, you didn’t experience the ‘80s and '90s through a child’s eyes and you can’t relate to Chris in the first place.  If you’re under 20, you’re young enough to think you have all the time in the world to avoid becoming this guy.  But if you’re within ten years of Chris’s age, you kind of get why he’s into at least one of his obsessions, and you’re aware that this is what you could be if you don’t grow up.

In general, people of this age group have to contend with the realization that they don’t suddenly receive a suit and briefcase and know what to do, nor do they automatically get to be a rockstar who can act like a teenager forever.  Becoming a mature adult is complicated, especially since the late '60s as more and more “immature” behavior has become socially acceptable.  The definition of success is increasingly murky, but the definition of failure has never been more clear: it’s Christian Weston Chandler.

I think a lot of attitudes toward Chris are shaped by this all-consuming fear of resembling him.  People who defend him want to believe someone else will similarly come to their own defense.  People who hate him want to prove they aren’t like him in order to escape his fate.  People who mock him are smugly satisfied that they could never be him–here he is less a bogeyman than a scapegoat.  Forty years ago, young adults wouldn’t have this sort of bogeyman, but today’s generation gets an orbital view not only of their parents’ environment (on TV reruns) but their own (on the internet), making them much more self-aware and self-conscious.  Fear of failure is much worse when two million people can see the consequences of that failure on YouTube or a wiki dedicated to failures.

Let me give some advice on how to face that fear of being Chris: focus on what makes you a better grownup than him, not on how you’re alike.  This is easy for me, because when I feel like a loser because I’m annotating a loser’s comics, I can just think about my job or my friends or my family.  If you’re not so fortunate–if you’re an unemployed virgin secluded in your mom’s house, surrounded by toys–you still at least have the self-awareness to face that, which puts you ahead of Chris.  You can look at your laughable self-insertion furry animu comics and say “This is too much like Sonichu , how can I take my creative work in a better direction?”  Even if you don’t come up with the answer (“put down the video games sometimes and read a real book”), being able to objectively question your own decisions is the most basic part of being an adult instead of a manchild.

[meta] Mailbag 4


The blog is pretty much like I always envisioned it; I wanted to do this for years but I was too lazy until I realized Tumblr would make it pretty easy.

I explained the origins of this blog before, but to briefly recap: I thought there should be a site that archives the Sonichu comics in a format that’s easy to navigate through and read.  On that front I’m already pleased with the results, because sometimes I want to check for the last appearance of a character or I can’t remember exactly what page something was on, and my own blog is becoming the best place for me to check.

I thought each page should be transcribed and annotated because otherwise it’d be really tough to tell what’s happening and in what order.  The tone is a result of my legitimate interest in the work as a glimpse into a strange mind, and also it’s just more amusing to play it rather dry.  It would get old if I just wrote “HAW HAW IAN IS FAT AND STUPID JULAYYY” on every page.


I’ll have to decline the offer.  Much as Chris has rejected offers to help him crank out new comics, I’m a control freak about my creation and I’d never be comfortable letting other people take a stab at it.  I recommend going into business for yourself like so…


annotatedbs refers to The Annotated Boston and Shaun , which covers a really horrible furry webcomic about a kangaroo and a dragon that like to sit in each other’s pouches.  I don’t know much about Boston and Shaun, so it’s a good thing somebody’s telling the world more about it.  The comic looks really bad, so I don’t envy you your task.


It’s a great question, but I’m no expert; I’ve never sat down to read Gonterman’s comics or most of the other infamously failtastic fanworks on the internet.  (If only people were out there annotating them on blogs so they’d be more accessible!)  From what I do know, though, Sonichu seems to combine the worst of all of them.  Maybe that’s why it has such a unique appeal to me–it’s like the Freedom Rock of bad fan fiction tropes, for people who can’t be bothered to collect all of the original albums.

[meta] Mailbag 5


Absolutely!  I think this blog is going to really get cooking around Sonichu #5, when Megan is introduced to the series and things really start to revolve around Chris.


I would slightly disagree that Chris is bullied into his “metafictional performance art,” given that he was putting on his version of The Truman Show before anyone could be bothered to harass him.  Chris’s work before November 2007 is not all that dissimilar from his later efforts–in all, it is the desperate cry for attention from a young man eager to be famous for something.  The main contribution of the trolls was to bring his vision into focus, giving him enemies to fight, women to court, and goals to pursue–he already had these things, but never in such abundance or regularity.  I strongly believe that if the trolls hadn’t found him, he would have inevitably continued to make comics and videos until he found some other “patron.”

Anyway, there are two major obstacles preventing Chris-chan from becoming a mainstream meme on the order of Chris Crocker or Tay Zonday.  I realized this in July 2009 when word got out that one of his videos appeared on Web Soup .  I found it curious that, of all the videos the show could choose from, they picked “ I Got A Fish ,” which is extremely short and barely scratches the surface of Chandler’s idiosyncracies.

But when considering which video I would have chosen instead, I realized that the rest were either too explicit or too “inside” to make sense as a standalone clip.  For example, I think this video is much funnier, but it only works if you know a little about what led up to it, and I somehow doubt G4 would authorize footage of a man fondling a sex doll. This one would be amusing to anybody, but there are hundreds of losers screaming on the internet, so unless you appreciate the context it doesn’t stand out.

Consider this video (which an anon helpfully provided in my inbox!), where a couple of Sega interns get away with a Sonichu reference and crack themselves up.  Half the reason it’s so funny to them is that they know Sonichu is wholly inappropriate for their web show; they can do little more than say the character’s name, because any further explanation would cross the line.  To introduce someone to a meme you have to be able to let them in on the joke, but you can’t really explain Chris or Sonichu without being NSFW.  You could say Chris is a 30-year-old who plays with toys or that Sonichu is a half-assed fan character, but that doesn’t get to the heart of the matter.  Chris is a weirdo who acts like a child and looks like a child molester; Sonichu is a funny animal character whose comic features extensive sex sequences.

At this point, the best chance for Chris to hit the mainstream is some sort of juicy scandal.  If he went on a killing spree or managed to sneak into the White House, there’s no doubt the media would dig up his history, but that’s a pretty far-fetched.  More likely, his struggles with trolls could become part of the media’s current crusade against cyberbullying, but I don’t think his story lends itself to the narrative of innocent kids being beaten or driven to suicide.  To make Chris a sympathetic figure, you have to appeal to the sense that it’s wrong to coerce a guy to wear his mother’s bra without calling attention to the fact that he should have known better.


I’d sum it up like this: Chris does not understand what autism is; he knows it makes him different, but he cannot comprehend how he is different.  This is pretty noticeable in his song on the subject ; he talks about autism as if it is some vague reason that he’s smart and people ostracize him.  At times he blames autism for his mistakes, but that’s just him making excuses without recognizing a correlation between his disorder and his behavior.

Chris more or less thinks he is neurotypical, which is why he’s so quick to assert his superiority over low-functioning autistic people and why he has occasionally claimed to have made a full recovery .  He doesn’t know what the symptoms are, so  if not for growing up with the label he would barely believe he has autism.  So on top of his innate difficulty understanding that people think differently than he does, Chris deludes himself into believing that people do not behave differently either.  Upon admitting that he frequently soils himself, Chris attempted to suggest that this was not unusual among adults, and I have little doubt that he would like to believe that.

In Chris’s worldview, we are all very much like him.  We go around saying things that don’t make much sense, obsessively collecting our favorite childhood toys, and making up bizarre pick-up lines to use on people we are already dating.  The only reason any of us have lovers is that we have stumbled upon some secret dating algorithm that he hasn’t been fortunate enough to discover.  Those of us who do not think highly of Chris do so out of the same simplistic, narrow-minded spite with which he justifies his own hatred of Mary Lee Walsh or Michael Snyder.  This worldview is attractive to Chris, because if it’s correct then there is nothing wrong with him.

If you want verification of this theory, look no further than Chris’s recent spate of Facebook posts, in which he is gloating about misdirecting the trolls and gaining clandestine access to their private posts.  The possibility that he’s been allowed to do this as part of a longer game never occurs to him.  In his mind he is doing to the trolls exactly what the trolls did to him, and he needs to believe that they feel as horrified and violated as he did when he was tricked and spied upon.  Chris can’t consider the possibility that his opponent does not think as he does, because if that were true there would be no way for him to win.

[meta] Mailbag 6

Now that Sonichu #3 is wrapped up, I’ll be answering some questions before I get into Sonichu #4.  If you’re just joining us, you can send in questions whenever you want, but I tend to only answer them between issues, in no particular order.

Speaking of Sonichu #4, if you don’t already know, the first 42 pages of Sonichu #4 are reprints of the sub-episodes from issues #0-3.  Reprints in a webcomic are pretty pointless, since you can always go back and click a link to read them, but that’s what Mr. Chandler did and that’s the way it is.  With that in mind, I will be following suit and re-posting those 42 pages, in the interests of providing the most accurate examination of Sonichu #4, redundancies and all.

In other words, The Annotated Sonichu will be doing summer reruns for a few weeks before we get back to the gripping conclusion of Chris’s battle with W-M-Manajerk.  I realize this may be inconvenient, to have to slog through stories you’ve already seen on your Tumblr dashboards not that long ago, but I’ll try to make it as quick and painless as possible.

On with the questions:


No problem; I can see why you’d want to get it over with.

Sonichu was originally posted on two websites, “ CWC’s Sonichu Site! ” and later “ Cwcipedia .”  The first was repeatedly hacked and taken over by online trolls; the second was created for him by online trolls in order to manipulate him.  Both sites were ultimately abandoned and shut down, but they’re currently archived on Sonichu.com a troll site dedicated to preserving Mr. Chandler’s works.  All 11 issues of Sonichu are available to read here , in a section of the Cwcipedia backups.

There are three problems with that link, though.  First, the layout for navigating from comic to comic and page to page is atrocious.  Second, in 2009 Chris made numerous edits to issues #0-7 (renaming characters and so forth), apparently discarding the original pages.  Third, the “Sonichu Special” issues, four stories that were leaked to the public, are not on Cwcipedia, so you have to dig around elsewhere on Sonichu.com to find them.

Although a lot of effort has been made to preserve this material, there hasn’t been as much of an effort to organize the comic pages into a comprehensive, easy-to-use site where you can be sure nothing is being left out.  That’s one of the reasons I’m doing this blog, to fill that need.  For now, if you hunt around Sonichu.com you can read ahead.  But hopefully in about a year or so this will be the best place to read the comic.


For those who don’t know, Sonichu #8 features Episode 17, which depicts a lengthy, graphic love scene between Sonichu and Rosechu, as well as other explicit sexual content.  Up to that point the series had been only slightly more “adult” than the average Sonic the Hedgehog comic book, so Mr. Chandler created three different versions of the story.  The adult (TV-MA) version is the whole, unedited story; the teen version (TV-14) is largely unabridged but heavily censored; and the kiddie version (TV-Y7) simply omits about half the pages.

Almost immediately after the comic was released to the public, trolls seized upon the obvious attack vector of pretending to be outraged that a comic for children would even approach the subject of sex.  At the time, Chris’s internet fame was taking off and he wanted to believe at least some of the people obsessing over him were legitimate fans, so he quickly caved in by pulling the issue and re-editing it into a single, less raunchy format.

This is a perfect example of what I was saying above, because over the years it has been fairly difficult to locate all three versions of Episode 17.  I can’t just say “The whole thing is available to read right here.”  All of the pages are in tact in the archives of Chandler’s first website, but you have to know which filenames you’re looking for.  I had to collect all those images for this project, naturally, and it proved to be somewhat more challenging than I expected.

The uncensored, TV-MA version of Episode 17 is a whopping 71 pages long, and my plan is to write a post for each of those pages.  Where a particular page has multiple variations, I’ll include them so that the reader can easily see the differences.  (Unlike Mr. Chandler, I think we’re all adults here and we can handle seeing Rosechu’s badly drawn nipples.)  I’ll probably tag each page according to which versions of the story it was included in, so that you can see how much shorter the TV-Y7 edition was, if you like.


Lately I’ve been pretty struck by my realization a couple of weeks back that the all the Sonichu characters know they are Chris’s creations and revere him like a god…except the villains , whom Chris didn’t create in the first place.  The only bad guys I can think of that are not a) based upon real people, b) lifted directly from some other work of fiction, or c) redeemed by the end of the series are Count Graduon and Beel.  In fact, even Beel gets a little speech in issue #10 where it’s made clear he resents the evil he serves, and only does so because he is literally a devil.  That just leaves Graduon, who would be utterly helpless without the aid of the others.

So that fits into what I think is the broad theme of Sonichu –it is the purest expression of Chris’s desire to play God in a world of his own making, and to make the choices he would have God make.  As the creator of Cwcville, Chris does not permit disease or wickedness to flourish among his children.  The only way that bad things can happen to good people in Sonichu is when people who exist apart from his authority invade and disrupt his world, and even then they can do very little that he cannot immediately repair.  In this comic, Chris has complete control, which is in sharp contrast with his real life where we frequently see him as a man who is often raging impotently against forces beyond his control .

That’s all for now, but I’ll be responding to questions for the next few days.  Feel free to send in more.

[meta] Mailbag 7




Sorry, but I prefer for this blog to remain anonymous.


It’s been a while since I received this, so I’m not sure if you’re asking about some specific incident.  In general, I find /cwc/ a fun way to keep up with Chris, and there’s decent commentary on the rare occasion that there’s anything new to comment on.

What makes the board amusing is its borderline paranoia about troll shielding–that is, the concept that any troll could actually be a lolcow pretending to be a badass troll to protect himself from being trolled.  Ever since /cwc/ discovered A-Log , there’s been an increasing mentality that anybody who thinks too hard about Chris is as big a loser as Chris is.  Given that /cwc/ is by definition a forum full of people who think too hard about Chris, this mentality is somewhat self-defeating.

I’m pretty sure many of the board’s users don’t grasp that irony, so /cwc/ is like a circular firing squad where half of them are shooting blanks but nobody knows which half.  Depending on your point of view, it can be pretty entertaining.


I think you’ve summed up how we all see Sonichu, but Chris just doesn’t see it that way.  To him, Sonichu is what makes him special, and the baggage that came with it is secondary to that.  Assuming that he even makes the connection between Sonichu and his misfortunes, he would still never abandon the Sonichu concept altogether, because then he wouldn’t be special.

In this sense Chris fancies himself as a genius whose work is initially ridiculed before it is ultimately appreciated.  The difference, though, is that a real genius is brilliant enough to see which ideas are worth the ridicule, while Chris endures ridicule because he thinks his idea will prove that he’s brilliant.  That’s why he wouldn’t just come up with a new idea; he’d still need to justify the effort he invested into the first one.

For this reason, I’m astonished Chris has gone this long without a sustained effort to promote Sonichu and secure the wealth and fame that would vindicate him.  But this Facebook post suggests that he has shifted his approach: Instead of assuring himself that Sonichu will succeed, he’s sitting around assigning blame to others for why he cannot do the work to make it succeed.  Either way, the same basic self-delusion colors his opinion of his creation.

[meta] Mailbag 8


In general, I think passing judgement on Chris is a pointless exercise, made even more pointless by our limited view of the man.  Good or bad, Chris is Chris and few people will ever really do anything about it.  I do think there’s a tendency for observers to project their own issues onto Chris, and base their judgements on that.  That said, it’s just as bad to try so hard not to identify with Chris as to declare him  (or either of his parents) an unrelatable, inhuman monster.

I’m sure the Chandler family’s situation is not uncommon in the United States, but I wouldn’t call it banal.  Our understanding of the household is limited, but it’s still enough to see that the family has a compulsive hoarding problem, which has no doubt contributed to issues with their poor hygiene and increasing social isolation.  There are aspects of their squalor that can’t be confirmed just from videos and secondhand accounts; for example, I’m certain some of Chris’s cats are feral , and that he smells terrible , but I don’t know .  Nevertheless, the squalor itself is all too clear .  Again, I don’t judge the Chandlers for these things, because I don’t know what factors brought them to this point, but I definitely think they should not have reached this point at all.


This is the first time I’ve heard of Henry Darger , who was discovered upon his death in 1973 to have spent decades creating a collection of writings and illustrations now celebrated as “outsider art.”  Although Darger’s work is taken seriously by the artistic community, those of us familiar with Mr. Chandler cannot help but notice that he lived in isolation, surrounded by garbage, tracing magazine advertisements to produce images of little girls with penises.  I would argue that the artistic merit of Darger’s self-expression is greatly augmented by the curiousness of the self being expressed.  If you’ve noticed that this is a central theme of this blog, you’ll probably want to learn more about Mr. Darger.

What does Chris’s work say about the sources he appropriates for inspiration?  More than anything, I think it says that those sources do a poor job communicating  anything meaningful that would help someone like Chris be a better storyteller or artist.  Sonic and Pokemon teach him how to market toys and games–so every action sequence becomes abstract, turn-based combat and the only plot twist he knows is to introduce new characters, powers, and vehicles.  Monty Python and Adult Swim have taught him how to break the rules to achieve surreal humor without showing what the rules are in the first place, leaving him ignorant of humor altogether.

This shouldn’t come as a surprise, though.  The internet is littered with people like Chris whose creative vision is narrowed by a myopic interest in “geek culture” or “genre entertainment.”  Mind you, that’s not meant as a slight to those interests.  However, if you’re only influenced by five or six somewhat similar sources, your work is going to be extremely derivative, especially if those sources have overlapping fandoms isolating you from more unique perspectives.  For example, I would imagine Mr. Darger’s science-fiction epic would not be so highly regarded as “mad genius” if he’d based it all upon nothing more than Star Trek and Lord of the Rings.


I’ve alluded to this before, but I think Chris’s biggest obstacle is his inability to understand how he is different from others.  I don’t think the autism itself is as much an issue as his failure to see it’s an issue.  For example, I think Chris is intelligent enough to figure out that trolls want to trick him, but he lacks the self-awareness to admit to himself “OK, I’ve fallen for a lot of tricks, autism makes it difficult to tell when people are deceiving me, so I need to be especially careful.”  Instead, he seems to have blanketly decided to assume that everyone he doesn’t know is a troll.  That’s close enough to keep him safe from online trickery, but the reasoning is very specious, and avoids the real issue to protect his pride.

His lack of discipline is the other major problem holding him back.  Chris is at least capable enough to hold down a full-time job or even court a girlfriend, but he doesn’t want to put in any effort for these goals or sacrifice anything to attain them.  He wants an easy job and a hot, loose girlfriend, and he wants to get them by waiting for them to fall in his lap.  He’s spent a decade trying to get everything for nothing instead of learning to compromise and possibly get anything .

If Chris could overcome those two issues (and I grant this would be no simple task), the rest wouldn’t be so difficult for him to live with.  Self-awareness would keep his gullibility, narcissism, and megalomania in check; discipline would would combat his indolence, disorganization, and poor health.  From there I think he could easily work 9-5, and interact with people without seeing them as factions in a conspiracy to determine his romantic future.  Admittedly, this would assume his internet reputation wouldn’t haunt him in real life, but I don’t think the average Wal-Mart HR manager is going to pore over Sonichu.com for hours during a background check.